Losing A Loved One: A Son Recounts His Dad's Prostate Cancer Experience

The statistics show that about 30,000 men in the U.S. die from prostate cancer in any given year, with 250,000 others receiving their official diagnosis over that same period. As staggering as those numbers may be, they still only tell part of the story. That’s because each individual number is a man whose diagnosis and despair will be forever shared with those who love him.

As we close the book on Prostate Cancer Awareness Month, we wanted to take the time to share how the disease can take a toll on the entire family from someone who experienced it firsthand.

Tim Meyer* learned that his father, Jerry*, had prostate cancer not after Jerry had undergone a routine check-up, but after being rushed to the hospital. Jerry’s brother had stopped by his home that day as the duo planned to repair Jerry’s leaky roof—but the 59-year-old looked so worn-down and unlike himself that his brother knew he had to do something.

Once at the hospital, doctors performed a series of blood panels and tests, with the prostate cancer diagnosis coming down shortly after. Jerry’s doctors warned Tim that the cancer was advanced and that he needed to start treatment immediately.

“My first thought was, ‘this is absolutely terrible,” Tim adds. “There’s really no other reaction one can have. In hindsight, I'm sure my Dad had been experiencing the change in his body and knew something was wrong but didn't tell anybody about it and kept it to himself.”

He says that Jerry was like many men in that he refused to go to the doctor, likely afraid of what he might learn. But what the entire Meyer family learned on the day of Jerry’s diagnosis was that he had less than four months to live.

Tim spent much of his time with Jerry in the two weeks that doctors kept him in the hospital for observation. After returning home, Jerry began an aggressive round of chemotherapy and radiation—again with Tim by his side, watching despairingly as the cancer (and the treatment) pummelled Jerry’s body and robbed him of what energy he had.

Despite the rough start to treatment, Jerry rebounded better than anyone could have hoped.

“My Dad was always a negative man—always complaining about something or [acting] grumpy,” Tim says. “But I think when he was diagnosed, he turned a new leaf and became much more positive, which I feel aided him in living longer. I call this ‘the power of positivity’ and totally believe in it.”

For nearly two years after his diagnosis, Tim and his sister, Michelle*, served as caregivers for their father. They dutifully tended to his many needs, both physically and mentally, right up until the end.

Five days after entering hospice care, Jerry Meyer died at the age of 61. The eternal pessimist who found a new lease on life as his was coming to an end, outlived doctors’ expectations by a year-and-a-half.

Beyond just the outcome, there are many parts of the experience that Tim wishes could have unfolded differently for his family. For one, he found the search for information and resources on prostate cancer to be overwhelming, especially for someone with no prior knowledge of the disease. If only there were an easy-to-read handout for patients and their families that included the most important websites, phone numbers and services available, he remembers thinking.

It’s that feeling of helplessness that drives Tim’s personal efforts now to raise both awareness and money to help those walking the same path he once did. He’s active in the Movember movement for men’s health, visits his own doctor often and regularly reminds friends, colleagues, and anyone who will listen about the prevalence of prostate cancer.

“If you take care of your body, then it will take care of you,” he says. “This means visiting your doctor regularly and taking responsibility for your own health. People often believe that if you ignore something, it will eventually go away. Your fate is in your hands, and only you can do something about it.”

Promaxo envisions a world in which our office-based MRI and artificial intelligence technology can help improve the discovery rate of prostate cancer. We encourage all men to regularly speak with their primary care physician about their prostate health and educate themselves surrounding the dangers of prostate cancer.

*Those mentioned in this post are real people with a real prostate cancer experience as dictated here. Their names have been changed to protect their privacy.